Tone Deaf Jeff x 4 Ladies and testicles Grab your wallets, watches, and spectacles. Come to the festival, watch me flow like a ventricle. I'm the only MC with the destiny who was born to be me. A swifter MC with the simile you will never see. I'm like the quick brown fox that jumps over dogs that are lazy. Maybe I'm crazy but I never metaphor I didn't like. Wordplay is what excites my bike. I strike a chord some may like and hoard. Some may put this shit in a drawer and forget where it's stored. I'm used to being ignored, so if you don't like the chord I strike you can take a hike cuz I ain't leavin the mic. I got too much to say and not enough time in the day. That's why I came to parley the right way. That's why I get down all night and day. Digging through records til my hair turns white and gray. What else can I say? I'm gonna murder every beat that comes my way So go ahead, press play. Tone Deaf Jeff x 4

Be very quiet I'm hunting Grunts and Flood like Elmer Fudd hunting ducks or Bugs. It's nuts pulling stunts in my active camp. I rob the covenant of their ammo. I demand to know why I must go to destroy the alien weapon known as Halo. I must show no fear when I commandeer a Ghost or if I'm cruising my Warthog up the coast. I don't need to boast but I roast more Elite by being discreet. Pop pop goes my sniper rifle. Hang back for a while so you can respawn. Run up with a plasma sword drawn One hit and you're gone. Chorus: Master Chief Legendary MC Why must I save humanity? Annhilating everything that I see Getting paid for a killing spree. You want a taste of disgrace? How about a plasma grenade to the face? When it explodes does it make a sound in space? No atmosphere might cause a complication Maybe I should have used a fragmentation At any rate, things are going great. Oh wait - what are these things rushing in? I think I'm fin- thank Cortana marines got my back again. I make another close escape, and now it's close to rape, I make haste with help from a friend it's time to race to the end and send a barrage of bullets down these extraterrestrials gullets. Chorus

I got the high score today on a game I stopped to play. It was kind of out of my way but what can I say. I'm an addict. This habit makes me say goddamn it. I have to have it. It's tragic the magic video games work on me, turning me into a junkie, worse than any chain-smoking monkey. I'm a little chunky, I never have been lean.  Spent most of my youth staring at screens instead of trying out for sports teams. I love pixellated gleams of light. Those are may dreams at night. Whether it's 8 bit, or the newest shit, I can't quit. Or rather, I won't. There's no way you're telling me don't. I need my fix. I have to break those bricks.  Pull off some tricks. Take some bitches out with a few high kicks.  It's sick the way I work the joystick. I pick my character quick and beat you with one button click. Even if I could be beat, I'd never admit defeat. I have a million reasons why you won. You cheat you creep. I laid on my hand wrong when I was asleep.  My button was stuck, some sort of good was mucking it up.  It might have been beginner's luck, but what the fuck? CHORUS I got the high score. Scoring points galore. I got the high score. One you can’t ignore. I got the high score. Your attempt was poor. I got the high score. Let's play some more. Quick! Bring be some change before I'm forced to rearrange you. Anatomically. The continue counter is down to three, and my only quarter is Canadian currency. Why are these machines not free? Or at least give me the key so I can play eternally without having to pay a fee. And having to make a mad dash to the change machine. To get the right cash 'cuz they don't take green. You're back in a flash but it's game over on the screen.  You want to scream because it seems so obscene. Now here is something that you might find keen. My mom once told me she was sorry, because my first memories were playing her Atari. I told her don't worry, it's not like it harmed me. CHORUS

Gather around it’s time for a tale, about me, a high-level male wizard Kind of on the pale side. Chaotic Evil when I ride. Wave those hands from side to side as I soar through the sky My magic cape equipped so I can fly. I don’t lie when I say you better not try anything. I’ve got a magic ring of incineration. With one invocation your ashes will be blown across the nation. The staff that I pack is primarily used to whack, but it can be used to make the earth crack. With a quick quake, it’s your grave I make You wish you hadn’t made the mistake of fucking with me. I cast a spell of invisibility so I can’t be seen. Sneak up, rip out your spleen. So delicious with whipped cream. If my fireball fizzles, I’ll come back with a magic missle. After a sickening sizzle, all that’s left is gristle. CHORUS Let’s roll the die and see what happens next. Hold on one second, let me check the text. Eternally estranged from the opposite sex, But my charisma’s 18 if you check my specs. Now I’m on a tour beneath the city in the sewer It smells shitty but I’m bored, so I slay a rat or two, Maybe even three, I’m not sure. It’s all the same to me. I’m just working on my dagger proficiency when I see a gleam of light up ahead. Run up and it’s an undead. Lich. Now how did this bitch get here. I know I can take him but I still feel fear So I make a saving throw break free from his hold Icy touch reaching for me, I can feel the cold I make a move that's bold. Try to speak to his soul. I ask "What are you dong in this hole?" That's just how I roll, he replies with a lunge. So I chant arcane words to expunge him from this earth. With a bright burst he's free of the curse. Thankfully, he hands me some gold from his purse.